Project 365 - June 14, 2021

It’s a New Dawn, It’s a New Day

First day back in the office full time. It’s a first of many types. First time getting up at 5 am. First time going to work and leaving the cats behind. First day driving to work and not being able to call Joel. 

But I made it through. It felt like the longest day ever. And now it is over. 

But I made time to make this image before I got into the car (and forgot to take my lunch!  But I came back for it.). 

Project 365 - June 5, 2021

One Day at a Time

It was my father's mantra.  No matter what day that I called my dad, and I called him almost daily over the past five years, he always ended the call with, "Jody, you can only take one day at a time." 

It has been 17 days since my father has crossed over to be with my mom, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. It was a complicated relationship that started when I was about 5 when my mom was raising me as a single, widowed mom. There were days that I disagreed with him, but, he adopted me, and he was my dad. And, this loss does affect me.

This has been a difficult year. But somehow, I have gotten through it with the assistance and support of my daughters, my friends, and other family members. The support net is wide. But the struggle is a daily one that only the person going through the grief can fully understand.  It is definitely a process and it is one that is completely individual with its own timeline.

So today, as I was walking my two-mile trek around the community, I listened to a podcast, texted my friend Greg (who is away for another two weeks and is my walking buddy), and made these photos. 

As I said yesterday, nature is the best medicine.  I can't say that enough.  And, as my dad would tell me daily, One Day at a Time!

Project 365 - June 4, 2021

 Summer has Arrived

This morning I struggled with convincing myself to get out of bed to walk. I don’t have Greg to motivate me since he and Jan are still up north visiting their family and friends. But I finally just forced myself to get up and put on my sneakers. 

It’s like that sometimes. 

Just like my therapist said, if I just get out of bed and put in my shoes, that is a good goal for the day. As I get closer to that one year mark of Joel’s death, I feel like I am going backwards a little. I was doing fine. I had my daily and weekly rhythm. I was going to work and feeling a little more normal. But then the mornings have been difficult these past two weeks. 

I know I can give myself a break. I just lost my father two weeks ago. True, he was 102 years old but it’s still my dad. And then Tuesday would have been my 41st anniversary. So, it’s okay if I am a little sad and that I can’t concentrate on any one thing. 

This has been a terrible year. And I am not even thinking about COVID.  

But getting outside this morning was the right medicine. And these photos are my proof.