But I made it through. It felt like the longest day ever. And now it is over.
But I made time to make this image before I got into the car (and forgot to take my lunch! But I came back for it.).
It has been 17 days since my father has crossed over to be with my mom, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. It was a complicated relationship that started when I was about 5 when my mom was raising me as a single, widowed mom. There were days that I disagreed with him, but, he adopted me, and he was my dad. And, this loss does affect me.
This has been a difficult year. But somehow, I have gotten through it with the assistance and support of my daughters, my friends, and other family members. The support net is wide. But the struggle is a daily one that only the person going through the grief can fully understand. It is definitely a process and it is one that is completely individual with its own timeline.
So today, as I was walking my two-mile trek around the community, I listened to a podcast, texted my friend Greg (who is away for another two weeks and is my walking buddy), and made these photos.
As I said yesterday, nature is the best medicine. I can't say that enough. And, as my dad would tell me daily, One Day at a Time!
It’s like that sometimes.
Just like my therapist said, if I just get out of bed and put in my shoes, that is a good goal for the day. As I get closer to that one year mark of Joel’s death, I feel like I am going backwards a little. I was doing fine. I had my daily and weekly rhythm. I was going to work and feeling a little more normal. But then the mornings have been difficult these past two weeks.
I know I can give myself a break. I just lost my father two weeks ago. True, he was 102 years old but it’s still my dad. And then Tuesday would have been my 41st anniversary. So, it’s okay if I am a little sad and that I can’t concentrate on any one thing.
This has been a terrible year. And I am not even thinking about COVID.
But getting outside this morning was the right medicine. And these photos are my proof.
I took a trip back in January to St. Petersburg to visit my cousin and didn't want to post any of the photos because it was still during COVID and I didn't want anyone to know that I had traveled because I was not vaccinated at the time. But, I was fine and now I am fully vaxed.
I had such a wonderful time in St. Pete and fell in love with the city, the sites, and the beach. I am already starting to plan another trip. Since my cousin and her boyfriend live right in the downtown area, everything is within walking distance. And we walked! So here are some of my favorite shots over the course of three days.
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After my walk, I hopped in the car and headed to a doctor’s appointment and since it was raining, I thought I would walk around Kohl’s to see if I could find any special deals. Not much really, but then I remembered that I needed a box to ship stuff off to Rachel and potting soil so that I could finally plant the scallions that have been taking root in my kitchen. So I stopped at Home Depot.
When I returned home, I refueled with some lunch so that I had another burst of energy to clean the house and prepare the guest room/office/former Rachel’s bedroom!! My cousin is coming to spend the weekend and I like it to look nice for company. It’s what Gloria taught me!
Then I had to run to Hyundai to get my car serviced. And, while I was there, I visited with my good buddy Tony King. He, of course, was trying to convince me to trade in my car for a 2021 because they are in need of used cars. Didn’t do that but I told him I would think about it for less than I am paying now!
While I was there and waiting for my car, I ordered Pub Subs (for those of you not in south Florida — those are subway sandwiches made at Publix).
When I got home I packed my car with my chair, beverages, and snacks and picked up Roberto, and off we went to Friday Night Sound Waves. It is a weekly concert series in a new park on Las Olas and the beach.
The weather was perfect and the music — the Valerie Tyson Band — was wonderful. I have hired that band many times in Pompano Beach and also for Broward 100. I made a new friend who loves the arts. I also made another friend who shared a glass of wine. It was like a small community of relaxed, chill people. The age range was from 2 to 80! A perfect evening.
And, I love the new parking garage public art!
Morning is my favorite time of the day
